Family. It's my gateway drug.

Actually, I really shouldn't say that. I think almost everyone feels that way at some point, but the stress level was relatively toned down this time around when we went to go visit. Of course, I think - actually, I know - it was because my brother, Alan, brought home his girlfriend, Natalia, to visit, and their focus was not on us. Since he lives in Boston, Alan only visits during Christmas, and he rarely brings girlfriends with him. Both of my parents were pretty jittery. My mom was convinced that he would be "making a big announcement." In the preceding weeks, they bombarded me with questions and demands. "Who is she? What do you know about her? What did he tell you about her? Does she speak English? Are they getting married? How long have they been going out? Have you talked to her? Why don't you talk to her, and find out what her intentions are? What should we do with her? Will you interrogate her for us? We need you to be a chaperone..." You get the idea. Surprisingly, they behaved themselves as much as they could. We would eat lunch or dinner, then over tea, my father would talk. My father has a tendency to ramble about whatever topics suit his pleasure. I've heard hour plus long monologues about things such as soil (different kinds of soil, sod, topsoil, soil in California vs. soil in Colorado, peat moss, manure, etc.) heating elements (gas, oil, electric, steam, coal...). Recently, his focus has shifted towards activities on eBay (various auctions, bad sellers, profits, bargains, shipping) and his electronic gizmo toys (His newest toy is a GPS receiver. He could talk about it for an infinite amount of time). I used to get very impatient with his talks, but nowadays, I just let him go on. It makes him happy to talk to us, and I see no reason to stop him. This time around though, he talked about more applicable topics, given our guest. He told stories about his childhood in Hainan and Macau, and about arriving in the States in the 60s. Although it was mostly benign, he would pepper his speeches with random assumptions. (Natalia, you see, is Romanian, and moved here for graduate school in the early 90's.) "Well, it's very easy for students from communist bloc countries to go to school here. The US government wants to get them away from the Russians." Natalia would gently, but firmly point out his mistakes, like that nobody left Romania until Communism fell, that she moved here after Communism fell, and it was very hard to get into school here. I think my mom shocked her, a little bit, when the talk turned to politics. She asked us who we voted for in the last presidential election. She laughed, then pointed a finger at my brother. "You see? You can't blame us for the state of things. You voted for him, AND HE'S DUMB!!!" shouted my mom (re:Dubya) - I can't really argue with ya there, mom. Natalia's jaw dropped. She even gasped a little. "I don't think the other candidate was much better," countered Alan. When Zack and I went on to give our analysis of the Dubya administration, my mom would interject randomly (shouting) "HE'S DUMB!!!" Despite all this, Natalia seemed pretty nice, and very smart. After they left, my parents demanded to know, "Did you interrogate her? Did you separate her from him, and find out her intentions? Is she using him? Does she treat him nice? Is she hurting him?" etc., etc. I know all this fuss is generated by concern and love, but simma down, folks. And keep me out of it. Oh well, at least they're not asking if I have any female single friends.