Phrases heard and uttered throughout Saturday night's viewing of TTT:IMAX (punctuated by sighs, kissy-face noises, giggling, and Joey shaking his head and rolling his eyes):

"Look at him run! Run fast! Fast like the wind!"

“Pointy ears! Pointy ears!”

"We need some shots of him riding bareback..."
"And barechested."

"He's so cute when he's all swift and deadly and kicking ass."

"There he goes... mount that horse, baby!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's enough of the Ents. Can we cut to Helm's Deep now?"

“Awww, look at him. He looks so sad and confused. It’s so cute”
“Yeah – c’mere, baby, and I’ll comfort you.”

"I love the way he says, 'Aragorn.'"

"That's right. Open the doors to my heart, baby."

"He's being all contentious and scowly. It's so cute! And those eyelashes! Hee Hee!”

"ohhh, look at his smile! I can’t get over those dimples!"

"Hee, hee, look at his butt in those tights."
"Oooh, maybe he'll bend over."

"It's raining! He's gonna get all wet! Aaaah!"
"Yeah, that Rohan leather armor must be getting all soggy and heavy. He should definitely take it off."

"We need replay TV, so we can fast forward through Fangorn and Gondor. Then we can rewind the important scenes, and play them in slo-mo."

Okay, so we're just a little depraved.