Okay. Before I begin commentary on the Oscars, I have to make a comment about the repercussions of boobygate. I hate Howard Stern. I think he's a vulgar, crude barbarian. He's not funny, and he's done and said some horribly misogynistic things towards women. That being said, I think that's it's craptacular that his radio show is being suspended for questionable content. I mean, sure, fire him cause he sucks (but he's popular, so that would be a bad business move), but pulling his show because of "decency reasons" is just ridiculous. This censorship thing is really getting out of hand.

Oh, and about gay marriages, whether you support them or not... Mr. President, don't you have better things to do? Aren't you supposed to be searching for WMDs in Iraq, or Osama Bin Ladin? Since when does the government have any business dictating who you can or can't commit to? I hate to think that all our tax dollars are being wasted on this kind of debate. Sheesh.

All-righty. Rants over. On to the Oscars. First of all, HOOOORRAAAAAAYYY!! ROTK swept! (does a little dance of joy) It's about fucking time! Was I the only one who wanted Peter Jackson to cradle that gold statuette, fondle it, and murmer, "my preciousssss..." But where oh where was my precious? Oh yeah, that's right. I seem to remember some kind of plan about lawn chairs, strawberries and mimosas...

Did anyone catch the pre-show "countdown"? There was this one cokehead reporter - I think his name was Billy Bush, and it's quite possible that he's related to Dubya - that kept running to all the hot starlets so he could stand really close to them (like violation of personal space close) and ogle their chests. I swear, he was practically licking his chops and reaching for a grope. Especially Angelina Jolie. Everybody he interviewed looked really annoyed with him, and kept trying to dismiss him, and he kept pestering. Tim Robbins actually pointed the camera towards Ben Kingsly, then ducked. He started to pester Kingsly about his "hot date," and Kingsly said, "This is Lady Kingsly. My WIFE of TWENTY FIVE YEARS." And Benicio Del Toro's date visibly rolled her eyes and made a face when he tried to run down her aisle and interview Keisha Castle Hughes. I could swear she was about to trip him. The dolt.

Aww, I felt really sorry for Bill Murray when Sean Penn won. I had a feeling it would come down to those two. Hell, even Jude Law (swoon) said he voted for Penn. I really Bill to win, and although I haven't seen Mystic River, I'm sure Penn deserved it - he always turns in a great performance. Bill just looked so sad. Not mad really, but he looked like he was about to cry. And Johnny Depp looked so embarassed and befuddled that's he was nominated for Pirates. It was really very endearing.

Random musings (you can check out everyone's dresses on gettyimages.com):

I love that the hobbits (Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh and Phillipa Boyens) are all unkempt. It's so charming! I just wish they were barefoot!

Uma, what happened to your stylist? Did Ethan get her in the divorce? She put you in that gorgeous lilac Prada 10 years ago, when everyone was wearing black Armani. It's not like you're Bjork, and people will just say, "Oh, she's just quirky".

Jack Black and Will Ferrell are the best part of this show - "It's time to cut to commercial, you're BO-RIIINNNG!" They should host next year, instead of Billy Crystal. Who I did *not* need to see semi-nude.

I think the bow on Renee Zellweger's dress is gonna attack her, or the presenters, or quite possibly the entire audience.

Sandra Bullock's dress reminds me of Big Bird.

Naomi Watts needs to gain 20 pounds. Seriously! She was skinny in Mulholland Drive, but still smokin'. Now, she looks anorexic.

Scarlett Johannson looks great. Love the hair and the red lipstick. The dress is nice, but the fit is a little off. Still, I like that she doesn't try to starve herself like everyone else. She actually looks really healthy, and that gives her a nice glow. Which is actually a lot more prettier than being stick thin.

Why does Liv keep taking the glasses on and off? It's distracting. But not distracting enough to make you forget about the one-sided hair.

Mitch and Mickey! I love those guys! I kept giggling during their performance, because I kept thinking about the covers of the albums Mitch released after Mitch and Mickey broke up. When is Eugene Levy going to be nominated for something? I swear, he always steals whatever movie he's in. Although I'm thrilled that ROTK swept, I know that this song actually deserved to win.

Jennifer Garner, why are you presenting? Take you and your peanut shaped head back to Alias.

Charlize, stop with the Mystic Tan. You're starting to go the way of Paris Hilton. And that's not good.

Gah! Julia Roberts is scaring me, for some reason.

Damn, Marcia Gay Harden is pregnant. This is kinda mean, but she looks like a giant blueberry.

Nicole's dress is gorgeous and flattering, but she needs to stop denying that she Botoxes. Maybe she stopped using it when she filmed The Hours, but that forehead Does. Not. Budge.

And my favorite dress? Big surprise, it's Sofia Coppola, in Marc Jacobs. I know it's not ultra glam, but it's very fitting for her.

I love Marc. Proenza Schouler, Narciso, McQueen and Posen are turning my head nowadays, but I still love Marc. This month's StyleFax (god bless you, Andre Leon Talley!) in Vogue discusses who's gonna succeed Tom Ford for Yves St. Laurent. Looks like it's gonna be Hedi Slimane, and all the previously mentioned names were bandied about. It was Marc, though, who put things in perspective, with a suggestion so simple, I can't believe no one else thought of it . "Yves St. Laurent. The man is still alive. For me, that's what Rive Gauche was, and always should be." Brilliant.

There was a recent article in the Journal about Marc. Since he took the helm at Louis Vuitton in 97, he doubled their profits to 2.4 billion by 2001, yet guess how much his salary is... less than a million. And they sold his fragrance division without telling him. That's just wrong. Anyways, time for bed. Good night.