This is Halloween

I live in Alameda. Halloween is taken very, very seriously here. Everyone decorates, and if you don't pass out candy to trick or treaters, your house is liable for getting egged. The first year we lived here, Zack and I opened up our front door to discover pandemonium on our lawn. There were so many kids running amok, it was like recess in grade school when the bell rings. It's okay though - we love Halloween. We usually end up with a couple of invites to Halloween parties every year as well. In the past, I had some sort of vague plan, based on picking up something from Goodwill and building around it with stuff I made, stuff I had at home and maybe a few accessories from the Spirit Halloween store. This year, I got lazy and decided to just buy the whole costume from Spirit. Boy was I surprised at what was available. Or actually, what wasn't available. What do I mean? Well, let me give you an example.

We all remember Snow White, right?



Whistle while you work, innocent, naive Snow White from Disney. (FYI: I'm wasn't planning on Snow White as my Halloween costume) Here's an excellent recreation of the Snow White outfit.



Of course, it looks great because it's Oscar winner Rachel Weisz photographed by Annie Lebovitz, complete with woodland creatures and everything. Not very many people can achieve this level of detail, obviously. Here's what we think we can settle for.



Not bad, right? Just about what you might expect for a standard Snow White Halloween costume. But notice I said: "what we THINK we can settle for." I went to the Halloween store on Sunday, that costume in my size was nowhere to be found. The closest version to this was in the children's section. Instead, I found this one in the Teen Section.



Uh, did a rabies-infested deer chew off Snow White's skirt? Where's the rest of her outfit? Scary thing is, that this is what I found in the "TEEN" section. The section with the less revealing costumes. Here's what I found in the women's section.



and this



Which is sluttier? I don't know. The first one is lower cut, but the second one has a shorter skirt. Don't worry about it though; something will come along to trump it. At this point, I had wandered up and down the aisles of stripper wear, trying to figure out what to do. There was the standard sexy nurse, french maid, schoolgirl, bunny, cat... no surprise, right? Then there was a sexy mutant ninja turtle, sexy guitar, sexy Harry Potter, sexy Sponge Bob. It was disturbing. I felt like shouting "Slutty, slutty, slutty!" ala Michael Kors on Project Runway.

Dismayed, I went home and got online, hoping to order something not slutty online. Morbidly curious, I looked at more Snow White costumes. I couldn't believe my eyes, but here's the something coming along to trump it.



Are those arm ruffle garter things supposed to make the outfit look less revealing? Cause it's not working. I guess Miranda and Cady Heron were right. Sigh. In the meantime, I'll go find an old sheet and dress up as a ghost. Maybe if I cut it up right and bind it really tight I can make it... oh, never mind.