Went to a shooting range today. I have ambivalent feelings about handguns. For a long time, I really disliked them, and there was a time when I would have refused to even touch one. Sometimes, I think they should be outlawed, but I know that doing so won't reduce handgun violence in this country. When I got to know our friends who were taking us out, I realized that there were responsible handgun owners out there, although I can't help but suspect that many of them aren't as resposible. I figured that learning to load, fire and unload a weapon, as well as the proper stance and positioning would demystify some of the stigma, and that it would be practical knowledge to have. I knew that our friends would be the best people to teach this sort of thing.

It was really nervewracking to handle the weapons at first. I kept wanting to be really gentle with them, for fear of something going wrong, even though they weren't loaded with live rounds. As I figured out fairly quickly, you've got to be pretty firm with them, but I still had a constant fear that I might accidently pull the trigger. After a fairly in-depth training session at the house, I felt comfortable enough to fire the weapons at the range. However, every time a gun went off in the booth next to me, I had to suppress myself from jumping. That "click" and the explosion is also pretty jarring. I started with a .22 revolver, went to a .22 semi, plunged into a .45 ("hot damn!" was my reaction), then a .45 semi. I also tried a .38, which I liked the least, then finished the session with a .44 magnum. I wasn't able to try the .357 - it jammed, so it was retired for the afternoon... oh, in case it's not apparent, our friend has a *thing* for guns. (When we arrived at the range, the rangemaster, upon perusing his collection, remarked that he could "start a gun store on his own.") I didn't get that sort of rush, or feeling of power that many speak of when handling a gun. It was mostly, "Holy shit! That thing's explosive!" and "Ow! My hand!", especially when handling the 44 (my arm is still aching... firing a weapon like the 44 would not be good for someone with carpal tunnel). Strange to think that something so small could do so much damage to another human being. It was a good educational experience, though and I'll admit that it was fun (though I could attribute it to the company). I might even go to a range again. But I'm still certain that I never want to own a handgun, and it wouldn't bother me if they were outlawed.